Tessa Amanda Sawitri
Mental Health Therapist & Founder of Safe Stories
Phone:
+62-813-1584-7437
Email:
safestoriescounselling@gmail.com
Date of Birth:
June 22nd, 1989
Hello! I'm Tessa,
I am a Person-Centred Therapist with a private practice based in Jakarta, Indonesia. Welcome to my page where I share with you my professional experiences and my passion for increasing the awareness of Mental Health in Indonesia. I hope that you find something of use from this website. If you would like to contact me at all please, feel free to do so, info up above!
PROFESSIONAL BACKGROUND
2013-Present
Founder & Mental Health Therapist
SAFE STORIES, Jakarta
Providing one-to-one therapy for children (from 5 years old), teens (until 18 years old) as well as adults. With child clients Play Therapy, Art Therapy, Drama Therapy and Sand Tray Therapy are used. Completing individual client assessments, identifying potential risks in child protection issues and safeguarding.
2010-2012
Volunteer Counsellor
PLACE2BE, Nottingham, UK
Providing one-to-one therapy with children suffering from sexual abuse, Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties and Special Educational Needs from the age of 5 to 10 years old, on a weekly basis at Mellers Nursery and Primary School. Co-facilitated a group work of eight children in the year 5 along with Supervisor, tackling the issue of friendship within a classroom, which persisted for seven weeks. Further therapeutic techniques gained from attending regular Place2Be training/workshops in Nottingham hub.
2011-2012
Bereavement Supporter
CRUSE BEREAVEMENT CARE, Nottingham, UK
Providing one-to-one support for people going through bereavement on a weekly basis. Further therapeutic skills developed through working with adult clients.
2011-2012
Primary School Volunteer Counsellor
RADCLIFFE JUNIORS, Nottingham, UK
Providing one-to-one therapy for children with bereavement, anger management issues and child protection issues from the age of 5 to 10 years old, on a weekly basis. Completing individual client assessments, identifying potential risks in child protection issues and safeguarding.
2011-2012
Volunteer Counsellor
SOUTH NOTTINGHAMSHIRE ACADEMY, Nottingham, UK
Providing one-to-one therapy with young people from the age of 12 to 16 years old, in a secondary school on a weekly basis. Completing individual client assessments, identifying potential risks in child protection issues and safeguarding.
EDUCATION
2009-2010
Counselling Children & Young People, MA.
UNIVERSITY OF NOTTINGHAM
2006-2009
Psychology, BSc.
UNIVERSITY OF WALES, BANGOR
2003-2005
Victorian Certificate of Education (VCE)
SEKOLAH GLOBAL JAYA
Where I Practice:
SAFE STORIES COUNSELLING
Safe Stories Counselling provides one-on-one therapy for children, teens and adults. As a therapist I use Person-Centred Therapy by practicing acceptance, empathy and congruence to provide a supportive environment for the client. The therapy sessions provide the client a space to explore themes, issues, and experiences that are important to them.
PERSON CENTRED THERAPY
CHILDREN
For child clients, I use play, art and drama as mediums to help them explore their feelings and emotions and have a better understanding of their world. I also work with the parents by providing them with Parental Sessions as well as regular reports on the progress of their children.
HOW THERAPY WORKS
Therapy allows the client to get to the root cause of the issue at hand and because of this approach, the results are often long-term. The therapist will help guide the client in exploring not just the symptoms of the issues they may be facing with (depression, anxiety, anger, etc.), but also the deep rooted issues often looked over. By having a therapist that understands and accepts the clients just as she/he is - this will increase their level of self-awareness, resilience as well as self-confidence.
700+ CLINICAL HOURS
CASES I HANDLE:
Depression
Suicidal Thoughts
Anxiety / Panic Attacks
Abuse (Mental, Physical, Verbal, Neglect)
Self-Harm
Bipolar Disorder
Anger Management Issues
Bullying
Selective Mutism
VIDEOS
How To Detect Child Abuse
How To Detect Child Abuse
How To Detect Child Abuse
Bullying
Pay Attention to The Stories We Tell Ourselves
How To Be Happy
MATERIALS
SEMINARS / WORKSHOPS
BINUS SCHOOL BEKASI
TOPIC: HOW TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY WITH YOUR CHILDREN
BINUS SCHOOL BEKASI
TOPIC: HOW TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY WITH YOUR TEENS
BINUS SCHOOL SIMPRUG
TOPIC: HOW TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY WITH YOUR CHILDREN
TAMAN BERMAIN KEPOMPONG
TOPIC: DRAMA, ART & PLAY THERAPY
Conducted a workshop/training session for the teachers at Taman Bermain Kepompong at Kemang, Jakarta held on the 16th December, 2013. I had the opportunity to talk about the importance of mental health for children's development and how teachers can help support that. As well as covering what Play Therapy, Art Therapy and Drama Therapy are, how they work and how they can be implemented into the classroom through exercises with children from 2 - 6 years of age.
KALCARE KALBE
TOPIC: CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE
On Sunday, 16th of November 2014, I had the privilege of working with Kalbe (KalCare) in creating a Talk Show for parents on the topic of protecting your child from sexual abuse. It was a great talk and I enjoyed myself thoroughly as this is one of the many topics I feel parents and adults need to remain aware of and be active in.
ARTICLES
Debunking 3 Biggest Myths Surrounding Mental Health
to Overcome Stigma
When it comes the topic of mental health, there is still often a strong stigma attached to it. Although 1 in 4 people go through mental health problems every year, many of us are still inclined to either talk about it or seek professional help should we feel the need to. Not only is it difficult for a lot of us to talk about our own mental health issues, but the response from society are also often very negative and unsupportive towards it. There is often the response of making us feel ashamed for having mental health issues in the first place and further shame if we do end up seeking professional help down the line. What I have found from my professional as well as personal experience is that there are certain myths/beliefs surrounding mental health, which causes people to not want to seek professional help. Due to how strong these beliefs are – it causes many people to simply remain idle when it comes to taking care of their mental health. To the point of that no action is better than any action at all because to seek help would bring a lot of shame to the family and community.
The stigma attached to mental health truly does have a negative impact upon our ability to take care of ourselves. If we are going through tough times in our lives such as losing someone we love, arguing constantly with our parents/family, feeling a deep sadness no matter what distractions we have – choosing to not do anything about them will only cause more harm to our wellbeing. This is why it is vital to debunk certain myths surrounding mental health and why we all should take action in order to be able to have a healthy mental state. Let’s discuss some of the most common myths surrounding mental health and the actual facts about each of them.
Myth 1: “I am not depressed, so I don’t have to worry about my mental health.”
To understand why it is vital to debunk this myth, we first need to understand what good mental health means. Good mental health does not simply mean the absence of mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, or other psychological issues. Rather than the absence of mental illness, good mental health refers to certain positive characteristics such as; being able to cope with the stresses of life, realizing one’s own potential, being able to work productively and being able to make a contribution to one’s community. Therefore, just because we may not be experiencing depression, suicidal thoughts or anxiety, it does not necessarily mean we have good mental health. Having good mental health means that we continuously take care of our wellbeing. It means we having a high sense of self-awareness and are able to express our emotions in a healthy way rather than running away from them. It means being able to be vulnerable with ourselves and not feel ashamed because of it.
Myth 2: “Boys are tougher than girls because they are not as emotional.”
This can be one of the most dangerous myths around mental health and is the leading cause of a high suicide rate amongst men. From a young age, boys are told by society to “toughen up” and to not show emotions regardless of what they may be going through. “Boys don’t cry” is one of the most common thing for parents to say to their son with the assumption that this will help them cope with life’s problems. However, the truth is that boys have just as much emotions as girls do. Boys feel just the same as girls do, no less and in no different way. If a boy were to be teased in school – he should have every right to feel upset and to express his sadness to his family, friends and to the school. Unfortunately, what would often happen instead is that they would be told to not get upset so easily simply because they are a boy. The “boys don’t cry” belief is a dangerous belief because it forces men to conceal their feelings, to simply distract themselves in order to cope and to ultimately stray away from seeking professional help. Therefore, instead of taking the necessary actions to take care of their mental health, they are told to dismiss their feelings, which is why a lot of men end up having mental health problems down the line. It is important to send the message to little boys that it is okay for them to feel upset, to feel sad and to be able to talk about their feelings. By showing them that they are allowed to express their emotions, we are helping their mental health to be better.
Myth 3: “If I go to a therapist for therapy that means I’m weak.”
This myth is false because one of the hardest things for us to do is to admit to ourselves that we have issues that need to be addressed. The truth is that a person who seeks professional help is in fact a very courageous and strong individual. Weakness instead comes when we choose not to confront our issues, to distract ourselves with temporary pleasures and to ignore signs that we are deeply unhappy. It is in fact much easier for us to not do anything and remain idle instead of having to change ourselves in order to be better. Going to therapy is not an easy thing to do and requires a lot of energy, effort, and hard work. Being in therapy sometimes means having to talk about things we would rather not discuss. It sometimes means having to revisit past traumas and experiences we would much rather burry. However, in order for us to heal and to move forward with our lives, what it takes is to process the pain of the past and to allow our feelings and emotions to be expressed. What people do in therapy is not for the weak instead, it is only for the bravest and most courageous amongst us.
Breaking the stigma around mental health is necessary because taking care of our mental health should be just as important as taking care of our physical health. We would not ridicule someone who is in clear physical pain for going to the Doctor so why would we ridicule someone who is experiencing mental health problems and wanting to see the therapist for it? It is time to break the stigma and help each other get one step closer to a healthier and much happier sense of self.
How We Can Best Help Our Children’s Mental Health
As a mental health therapist, I often receive questions from parents asking me what they can do so that the relationship they have with their children can improve in all aspect. Almost every parent I meet wants to be closer to their children, they want their children to listen to them more, to respect them more and to form a better communication overall. Whilst the answer to this question may depend on the dynamic between the parent and the child, what I have found however, is that there are certain significant factors that are necessary to practice. Without these factors – the foundation of what makes a good relationship between a parent and a child would otherwise be very difficult to achieve. The three big factors that I will share below will not only make a huge difference in the relationship between a parent and a child, but it will heavily improve the child’s mental state in return.
The parents must take care of their own mental health:
When I tell parents that their personal issues influence the relationship with their child, they often find this quite hard to believe. However, the truth is, that when a parent is not aware of their own issues and do not actively take care of their wellbeing – what often happens is that they will project their problems onto their child. Without a sense of self-awareness, the parents are often angry, irritable or even moody, causing the children to feel hurt, confused and unable to figure out what to do to please their parents. If a parent does not take the time to self-reflect and come to the realization their personal problems are being projected onto their children, the relationship between the parent and child will deteriorate overtime. Thus, it is vital for a parent to take the time to really invest in their own mental health because with this – the child will be free of their parents’ unresolved issues, which have nothing to do with them in the first place.
The parents must pay more attention to what they are doing rather than what they are saying:
Some parents often find it rather difficult to get their children to follow what they advise them to do. Whether that is wanting their child to be more organized with their school work, to speak more politely, to be more respectful or to have a better way of handling their emotions. The fact is, one of the best forms of getting a child to follow what the parent wants – is not in telling them what they should be doing, it is in showing them instead. Believe it or not, children are incredibly observant and because of this they would naturally be far more likely to follow what their parents practice instead of what their parents say. So, if a parent wants their child to be more organized or to handle their feelings better, the best thing they can do is to actually practice what they preach first and foremost. When a parent practices what they preach – they would no longer need to spend as much energy telling their children what to do, for their children would already mimic their parents’ behavior. Thus, it is important for a parent to focus more on being an example for their child, for with this in place, the child will be far more inclined to follow suit.
Listening more to your child’s feelings:
There is often a misunderstanding when it comes to children and their emotions. A child may not have the verbal capacity to express how they feel however, the fact is that children feel just as much as adults do and their feelings are just as valid and should not be suppressed or belittled in any way. One of the best things a parent can do for their child is to have the patience to truly listen and take their child’s feelings into account regardless of how “minute” their problems may seem to the parent. Whether it is about feeling sad/crying over their lost toy or feeling afraid of going to a new class, having the parent taking the time to empathize with what they are going through first and foremost can provide so much significance to their wellbeing. When a parent is able to provide emotional validation, and say, “Aww, this must be very hard for you – I understand why you are feeling sad right now”, this allows the child to feel truly valued and will in return allow them to manage their emotions better. There should be nothing wrong in children expressing their emotions – it is when the parent tries to suppress it that problems start to arise.
These three things are what makes a healthy and close relationship between a parent and a child possible to attain. Without practicing these elements, every other effort may unfortunately only lead to disappointments. Once the parent is able to put these factors into practice then their relationship with their child will eventually begin to blossom.
5 Tips and Advice on Creating a Strong Bond with Your Child
Do you want to be a great parent? Do you want to raise a happy, healthy, well-behaved kid? The secret is to create a closer connection with your child.
Peer relationships are very powerful in a school situation as Dr. Philip Zimbardo (a psychologist and professor at Standford University) has pointed out that when we evolved as a species there were 4 adults for every 1 child in society; extended families, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc but this is rarely the case anymore. Now children are shipped off to school for 7 or more hours a day and the parents are busy, they come home late, busy fixing dinner and helping with homework and there is not a chance for relaxing intimate conversations that has you really know your child.
Children who have a very strong bond with their parents tend to not get bullied and even if they do, they will have a better resilience to it. They are more able to overcome challenges and have higher confidence in themselves. In the absence of strong bonds with parents, our natural desire for bonding goes horizontal. Children will look elsewhere to connect to another human being if they cannot receive that from their parents or family members and when the environment they are surrounded by has a negative influence then isolation can occur.
I will be sharing with you 5 simple advices that can help create and/or strengthen the bond you have with your child and how each of them can produce a positive message for their future.
QUANTITY AND QUALITY TIME = SELF-WORTH
Prioritize time with your child: make time even if it is only 10-15 minutes every day – yes, everyday because in relationships, without quantity, there is no quality – quality time is a myth. You cannot expect a good relationship with your child if you spend all your time at work and they spend their time with their friends. So as hard as it is with the pressures of job and daily life, if we want a better relationship with our children, we have to free up the time to make that happen. This can be before going to bed, after dinner, maybe whilst doing the dishes/cleaning up, whatever. Star off with a simple question like, “How was your day?” And talk about how your day was as well – let them get to know you in return. Giving them this chance every day will allow them to open up to you and indirectly make them feel that if they are worth your time then they are worth anyone’s time.
GET INTO THEIR WORLD = EMPATHY:
Get into their space – from infancy through about age 8, kids spend a lot of time on the floor. If we would like to get into their world we must be on their level, therefore, if your child is playing on the floor then you should be down there too. Play games, pretend with dolls, build block forts with them, do whatever form of playing that your child is into. Try and fight the feeling that you are acting stupid; crawl through those embarrassed feelings and meet your kids. If you have an older child then you could watch their TV shows or movies, explain that you want to hang out. Even if you’re not fascinated by Spongebob Squarepants or Oggy and the Cockroaches, ask questions about characters and storylines to start conversations with your child. Showing that you are willing to do the things that interests them even if you do not completely understand why, shows them the ability to empathize as human beings. Putting yourself in their shoes and seeing the world through their eyes provides as a great example for them in being able to perceive things from different points of views, which is important in order to help them develop into open-minded individuals.
PUT ON YOUR LISTENING EARS = RESPECT:
Instead of getting angry immediately when your child is fighting with their siblings, try instead to listen to both sides of the story and hear out why they did what they did. A good statement is, “I can see you were very angry with your brother, but it was nice that you were able to talk about it instead of yelling or hitting.” This acknowledges a child’s feelings, rewards the choice made, and encourages the child to make the right choice again next time. Allowing your child to have their say and show that you understand where they are coming from even if you may not agree with them teaches them to have respect. Respect for themselves as well as for other people is only possible when it is done in an equal manner. Therefore, if you would like for your child to respect you, then you must show the same respect. If you want them to listen to what you have to say, then make time to listen to their side of the story as well. This is not about letting them take over or you are no longer in control, this just shows that although there are conflicts, the two of you are still able to talk things through and come to a compromise.
COMMUNICATE WELL = TRUST IN ONESELF:
It is in a child’s nature to crave consistency and familiarity, however life as we know brings many known and unknown changes that we sometimes simply cannot control. In order to help prepare our children for the many inconsistencies in life, we must start by displaying good communication skills. Children need a lot of time to process changes and unknown upcoming events, therefore if it is possible try your best to take the time to communicate any new plans that might affect them weeks before the due date. For instance, if you want to take your child to a summer school, make sure that you include them in the process way ahead of time and allow them the chance to ask as many questions as they want before making any decisions. Involve them in the process – mark the calendar in order for them to be able to see the upcoming event visually as this gives them a sense of security. Seeing that you take changes ‘seriously’ and always offering an open communication with them provides them with a sense of trust that although life can be inconsistent and bring about new/unknown things – they will have the ability to cope with any changes that comes.
SHOW ENCOURAGEMENT = SELF-ESTEEM:
Be a positive role model – if you are excessively harsh on yourself, pessimistic or unrealistic about your abilities and limitations, your kids might eventually mirror you. Nurture your own self-esteem through showing kindness to yourself as well as your child and they will have a great role model. Healthy self-esteem is like a child’s armor against the challenges of the world. Children who show their strengths and weaknesses and feel good about themselves seem to have an easier time handling conflicts and resisting negative pressures. Remember to praise your child not only for a job well done, but also for effort. For example if your child doesn’t make the soccer team, try saying something like “Well, you didn’t make the team, but I’m really proud of the effort you put into it.” They will understand that although they may have weaknesses of their own, it still does not diminish their self-esteem nor does it make them less valuable as a person.
It is not enough to tell our children we love them – we need to put our love into action every day for them to feel it – make that connection with our child as our highest priority. Almost all parents whose children are grown say they wish they had spent more time with their kids. Therefore, lets not take for granted the time and chance we have to be there for our children in the best way possible in order for them to feel connected to us and in their later development be able to bring their childhood experiences into adulthood with confidence and self-assurance.
TESTIMONIALS
MOTHER OF A 4 YEAR OLD
My daughter was a client of Tessa at Safe Stories Counseling for almost two years (age 4-6). She was struggling with an enormous amount of grief and anger related to her adoption, and was physically lashing out at me and other family members and sobbing herself to sleep each night. I knew we needed help. Tessa's approach to therapy worked wonders. My daughter never told me much about her sessions, but she was always happy to go. Every two sessions Tessa sent me a detailed report on my daughter's emotional and psychological world, full of truly astute observations and analysis. She often included practical suggestions for handling or responding to certain behaviors, and was very responsive to any questions I had. With this approach I felt like my daughter was getting the support she needed in a safe and private place, and I was becoming a better parent to her, and one more attuned to her feelings. Her negative behaviors started to subside, and by time we finished therapy she was voluntarily vocalizing her feelings, rather than hitting me or acting out. Several months after therapy ended, my daughter showed me her special box with some of the projects she did with Tessa, and I was awestruck by the powerful emotions they conveyed. In hindsight I can see that although Tessa was treating my daughter, in fact she helped our entire family through a very difficult time. We are forever grateful to her for her expertise, wisdom, and insights.
FEMALE, 18 YEARS OLD
I’ve been in therapy with Kak Tessa for about the past year or so, and not only has she made me feel safe and more comfortable with myself, she’s also helped me navigate through past experiences, and shaped me into becoming a better version of myself. The support and advice I’ve received in therapy has aided me in processing repressed feelings and emotions, as well as simply understanding things about myself — things I never realized were a part of who I am.
I think going to therapy should be a consideration for everyone, regardless of whether people think they need it or not. Even if one has nothing in particular they want to achieve or work out, there are so many benefits to having a calm, open-minded listener that is unbiased, nonjudgmental, and reassuring; a confidant who can help us see that change is possible if we are willing to do the work.
For me, therapy is a place where I’ve given myself permission to focus on my mental health and talk about whatever I need to, which is something I would never do if I weren’t in therapy. I have so much gratitude for this practice as well as for Kak Tessa — the work that we did absolutely had a lasting impact on my life.
MALE, 29 YEARS OLD
If I could summarize my experience with Tessa Sawitri into a few words it would be Aligning, Compassionate and Transformational. She appeared to my life at a pivotal time of my healing, when I was in search of a new medical professional who not only could handle my condition (diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder and suffering from depression at the time) but was also aligned with my intention of going medication-free. Tessa is one of the few I have seen in her field that exercises compassion and sincere trust with her patients. She is willing to listen to her patients doing her best to accommodate their requests. This philosophy that is clearly seen in the way she practices quickly made me feel at home, and a sense of belonging seldom found in other places. Through my journey with her she was able to find another condition, Multiple Personality Disorder, which plagued my life. Tessa helped me in identifying them, being aware and more in control of myself; and in my search of achieving a more stable me, I found meditation which Tessa surprisingly encouraged. The wellbeing and growth of her patients is Tessa's top priority as she genuinely wants her patients to get better and ultimately be cured. She was onboard with me trying out different methods as she truly wanted me to be cured. Many years have passed since our last therapy session and I am proud to share that I no longer have MPD nor Bi-Polar Disorder. I have become the controller of my emotions and the master of my life once more. Thank You Tessa for holding the space for my healing and enabling my transformation to a stronger and better me to begin. I recommend her to anyone.